Sunday, January 27, 2008


i'm having this problem quite for a while now..
at first, it was not so bad, only ince in a blue moon..
recently, i can't even finish my respiratory examination which only takes about 7-10 minutes..
and i can't sit down at my study desk for a couple of hours now without feeling backpain..
i think it was postural backache since it was aggravated by bending down and prolong sitting..
i told my parents about this and they told me to exercise and will bring me to see their doctor..
you see, both my parents have some kind of problem with their back-my mom's is upper back, and my dad's is lower-and now they are under follow ups with their doctor..
and this evening, my father taught me the simple exercise that his doctor recommended to him..
we've decided to go and see the doctor next friday since it's a holiday..
it will be only my mom and me because my father is going back to his parent's home in terengganu..
i hope it will at least lessen by the time it's exam week..
so that i will not be distracted during exam..
Ya Allah, pulihkanlah penyakit hambamu ini dan lindungilah aku dari penyakit-penyakit lain..amin..

Friday, January 25, 2008

serves me right!!

oh my is a very tiring day..
i slept for only an hour last night..
no, actually it was this morning..
I slept at 5 am and woke up at 6! why?'s all because i had to finish the case write up because the dateline is today..
serve me right!
I was dilly dallying in starting the assignment and when there was only a day to meet the dateline, there were so much left to do..
and today is also the assessment day!
Where Dr Fauzi (my examiner) will randomly pick his student for the assessment today..
lucky enough for me for not being picked as the one to be assessed today..
i haven't prepared much yet..
but i can't stand the palpitation and chest tightness for any longer that i wish it was me just now..
plus, i already know the case before hand..
so, next week would be my turn..
please God, don't let me the last to be assessed..
nobody would accompany me to go to the ward then..huhu..
we already knew how to prepare for the assessment though..
we've figured out that Dr Fauzi will only have his class, teaching or assessment in medical ward 6..
so, what we would do is to see what are the cases in the ward and which cases have the potential of being the case for assessment..
definitely not the patient who are not conscious or are in the confusional state..
like today, after deduction was made by me and Ida, we guessed that Dr might pick the case of this particular patient with fluid overload..
and it turned out that we were right!
well, at least i got more time to study more..
so, tonight, i was going to repay back my sleep time..
and go back home tomorrow morning..
feels like it was ages since last time i went back home..
i mean spent the overnight at home..

okay the moral of the story today is never dilly dally in your work!
i wonder when would i ever change that?

Sunday, January 20, 2008

bedtime story: A Saturday Adventure..

Today, i went to the ward with Fana, as I promised her yesterday and clerked and examined a few patients. We started by taking a history from a dengue patient, who was a good looking 21 years old (same as me) Malay male and examined his GIT system ( which Fana told the patient that I want to examine him ). That was very naughty of her and I had no way but to proceed. I have this sydrome where I feel awkward examining a young, healthy looking male patient. However, I kept reminding myself that whatever i was going to do is for the sake of learning. Then, we went to another patient, and now it was Fana's turn to examine an older male patient. The patient's liver was obviously enlarged and it was actually my first time to see a very large liver ( Fana told me she had seen bigger ). Then, she showed me a patient who she had once examine and taught me on hand and joints examination. the patient had gouty tophi and he also taught us on how the doctors would examine him. (see, we can learn a lot from patient..). Next, we went to a 70 year old Chinese patient and get permission from him to examine his upper and lower limb. eventhough he is 70, he has an abnormally strong power. Fana was complaining that her wrist ached due to the uncle's strength when testing for his wrist. There's a few interesting finding that we found the patient had such as lower limb fasciculation and intentional tremor. Finally, we took a history from a middled aged Malay lady who was a known case of Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) for 3 years. She told us how she first get the symptoms and how she was diagnosed later on. We were very excited because she had a typical clinical features of RA (just like in books, as fana would say).
We decided to stop and have lunch as it was nearly afternoon. i thought of having nasi lemak as my lunch but unfortunately, the nasi lemak stall was closing when we get there. We then decided to have lunch outside. so, I drove my car with Fana as the road guide to Bandar Sri Permaisuri, searching for a place to have lunch. We finally found the same junction where we come from and realized that we were actually went around and get nowhere..(haha). Well, we finally have our lunch at Tesco where Fana and I bought at Little Wok stall at the food court. What was interesting about the food was that the food was not served on a plate, but instead was served in a little wok ( thus the name of the stall) or what we called 'kuali'. Owh, before we had our lunch, Fana realized that she had lost her RM50 (which she slip it in her white coats' pocket). This was actually her second time of loosing RM50 ( the first one was when we were at Tanjung Karang, at Bazar Ramadhan). We tried to find it in my car but it was nowhere to be seen. Fana called a couple of friends who happened to be at the ward that time to pick it up for her if they were to found the money. I had nagged her for not bringing her purse and carelessly slip the money like that. Well, until this moment, she hadn't found it yet and was sulking about it..hmm..back to the story, after we had our lunch and bought a few things, we headed back to the college..Well, that's it for eyes are drooping right now (ptosis..hehe)..till my tips of fingers meet the keyboard again..


It is only about 3 weeks before the final semester exam and only a few days before my observed long case assessment. Recently, I went to the wards more often compared to the previous posting that i had. However, I still feel that I am lacking of clinical skills. And my knowledge about diseases is so weak that it scared me more of the coming assessment. Last Monday, I don't know why, but I woke up with a most helpless feeling and thought, why am I here? Is it really my fate that i will becoming a doctor one day? Do i have the quality and criteria of becoming a good doctor? Will i do harm to the patients by me becoming a doctor? All these sort of questions came to my mind and had kept me confused and stressed me that i felt like crying and felt like my heart wanted to burst. I really need someone to talk to then but i was going to class that morning. It was no one to be blamed of why I am here as I chose this path in the beginning and it was no one to be blamed if I ever fall down along the way because the most major cause then would be ME! I felt this way and was so down not because i have been tortured by doctors or not because of others but I am really dissapointing myself. I felt like loosing interest in medicine day by day and felt that I need motivation once in a while. Because when i lost interest, i also lost a thing that drive me to study ( in other words, I have become a very lazy person in terms of studying). As my father once told me, even there is something which is hard to achieve, but with interest and desire, they can push me to the goal no matter how hard it is. I can't simply give up now that I'm halfway to my goal and can only move forward. Now, I can only pray to God to lighten up my heart, and help me to open my eyes. That day, I felt a bit better when i met with my friends and talked to them. Sometimes, i think, my condition of staying far from my friends have somehow influenced my emotions and when I meet them, at least they distract me from thinking those 'internal conflict' question. So, family and friends, I really need your words of encouragement or advices to help me through this internal conflict..

Friday, January 18, 2008

You Are An Intro-Extrovert!

Sometimes you're social - sometimes you're shy
You've got a bit of an Introvert / Extrovert split going on
You enjoy all sorts of situations. Parties, small groups, and alone time.
Too much of one, and you'll long for the other. You need variety!
Chances are, you've got both serious and fun friends - and they don't get along.

You Are a Green Crayon

Your world is colored in harmonious, peaceful, natural colors.
While some may associate green with money, you are one of the least materialistic people around.
Comfort is important to you. You like to feel as relaxed as possible - and you try to make others feel at ease.
You're very happy with who you are, and it certainly shows!

Your color wheel opposite is red. Every time you feel grounded, a red person does their best to shake you.
What Color Crayon Are You?

p/s: 'thanx' to fana, now i am infected to the quizzes site and can't help posting the results here..huhu..well, some of the are soo right with myself..

What Hakimah Amni Binti Muhammad Razif Means

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.
People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.
You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.
Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience.
You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along.
But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge.

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings.
You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.
Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

this is how my room looks like..


It has been 3 weeks since I last saw Nami. I was going through the photos in my mobile just now when I saw a photo of his and realized that I missed him. It was the night before Hari Raya Aidiladha that we lost him when my mother realised that it was such a quiet night (normally, Nami would make such a noise when we had already slept and he was not caged yet) and started looking for him. I was actually sleeping and woke up when my father accidentally shone the torchlight on me. I asked him what's going on and he told me that Nami was nowhere to be found. We called and searched for him all over the house that night including the place that logically, he would not be there, but to no avail. The next day, early in the morning of Aidiladha, my mom was actually searching for him in the neighbourhood. And after Aidiladha prayer, my father and I went around the neighbourhood thoroughly once again for Nami. But, still there was no sign of him. We then surrendered and gave all the matters to God and pray for his safety. What I most feared was that he was dead or being knocked by vehicles. A few times ( in the next couple of days) when we thought we caught a glimpse of him at the row of houseshop in our neighbourhood but then we realised that it was another stray cat which was very like our Nami. We met a guard which was feeding the stray cats and asked him if he happened to saw Nami and described what Nami looked like. He then admitted that he did saw one just like we described it a day before when he did his routine (which was feeding the cats besides patrolling the neighbourhood) and said that the new cat among the stray cats did not ate when he fed them ( he fed them fish and cooked rice). We thought, of course he wouldn't eat because he normally eats boiled fish and Whiskers. But at least, we knew that he was alive and that relieved us. We gave up and believed that the fate was written that way in such that Nami came to us from a stray cat and end up becoming a stray cat again. Maybe the time for us and Nami being together as a family was only for a period of time. We adopted Nami when his mother left him in front of our house about a year and a half ago. My father didn't approved at first and allowed us to keep him only for the school holidays( it was school holiday at that time). But then our love to him become stronger each day that we finally decided to keep him officially as a pet. He was just a very little kitten then and grew bigger and bigger and become the most handsome cat a cat can be. Everyone who had seen him would say that he is indeed a lot bigger than the usual cats. Even though he was not as tame as other pet cat normally are (we couldn't hug him or sleep with him or stroke his fur with him on the lap), he was actually smart and understands what we said(especially mom and dad). We used to called him by name and he actually called back( by meowing of course). And often, when my mom called me(Amni), he was the one who replied and vice versa (i mean, our names were almost the same, who wouldn't be confused?) haha..He also used to wait for my dad at the door when my dad gets home from work and asked for my father to stroke him. I think my father and mother missed him most. Well, that's a little bit tribute for Nami (which we named Nanami before we knew it was a male cat).. Oh, did I not say that Nami was a cat? Well, i guess you already knew it anyway.


i've adopted a new cyber-pet!
i've decided to change my pet every week..
this week it would be a turtle cyber-pet which i named 'Tootie'..
you can find it on my right sidebar..
unfortunately, it did not fit nicely to my sidebar..
you can feed it by clicking the 'more' tab an the right bottom corner of the box and play around with it..
Have fun!

Friday, January 11, 2008

hang out..........

I just got back from McD, initially accompanying fana as she was soo hungry that she can't even pay attention during our study group("lapar giler macam nk mampus" as she described it). But in the end, there were 5 of us (me, fana, cat , wani and akem) went there and had our supper.
Well, everytime we meet for discussions, there's always news and stories to be shared with others and tonight was not exceptional. Tonight, Cat was the only one who presented during discussion, as he was the only one who had prepared his part ( except for Wani as she had presented hers the night before yesterday). Fana was so euphoric of her new 'tommy' perfume (which costs for RM 250!) and talked about it almost throughout the discussion. Of course the scent was very nice and suit her well. Lala, with her stories about her relatives and on how concerned they were when they heard of the cases that occurred in the hostel recently, was showing her newly bought (only after being forced by her concerned relatives) protective spray (the one that you spray when you're being attacked by a stranger). She was then actually sprayed it randomly at a space and after a few minutes, i sneezed once and fana was coughing again and again. And when Lala read the information written at the back of the package of the spray, true enough, the spray can cause nose irritation and can cause people to sneeze, and continously coughing. Luckily the effects were very mild and fana had stopped coughing after a few minutes. We all thought that the spray was costly though, considering its size was only about the size of the distal phalanx of my thumb.
Earlier this morning, I woke up, and thinking that I should be getting ready if I want to join Fana and Hannah to mid valley. But frankly, I was not so keen of going there, which I don't know why. And then I thought, why don't I ask Asmal and Marina to hang out somewhere nearby if they are still in college. It has been a while since we last hang out together and I missed being with them. We hardly met even though we are not that far between each other. This is all because of my schedule which is different from theirs. So, I messaged both of them asking of their whereabouts and finally we agreed to go out by my car. At first, I thought of going to Tesco which was the nearest mall, but then Asmal asked to go somewhere that she can find soft food (such as McD, because there is poridge) as she is wearing braces right now and her teeth were aching resulting in pain if to eat hard food. Then, we decided to go to Jaya Jusco in Balakong. Even though I have only once drove there, I hoped that I would remember the way to go there (I have been there so many times but i had this kind of problem of remembering roads and ways of going somewhere). So, luckily, we arrived at the destination without ever getting lost (thank God). We started by having our brunch at Pizza Hut (which the service was very slow) with Asmal only eating mushroom soup, garlic bread and chicken wing. Marina and me were so full with all the side dishes that we had to take away the Mexican pizza. Then, we went into most of the stores and end up buying a few cloths and a bag (Asmal bought it), and few food stuff. These are what I bought:
  • a blouse (which Asmal and Marina strongly disagreed with my choice)
  • a long sleeve t-shirt
  • a pair of jeans
  • chuka iidako sushi
  • marshmallow blast (grape flavoured)
  • guava juice( shared with Marina and Asmal)
We spent almost 5 hours there and came back at 4 pm. Then, we all hanged around in my room and spent our times together (gossiping, trying our new cloths and finishing the pizza leftovers). We really had a great time together today (and it feels like we were having reunion!). Well, that's it for now, till then..

Monday, January 7, 2008

the end of another weekend..

There's nothing really interesting happened today. It was just another typical weekend for me. I woke up in the morning and found out that all my muscles were aching due to the accumulation of the lactic acid resulting from the excessive muscle work yesterday (haha, i have a very low stamina due to my sedentary lifestyle). They are still aching right now but had improved compared to earlier.
I wanted to post the photos of my room but due to the internet connection problem, or some technical errors, the uploading of the photos failed. Sorry mom, I'll show you the photos the next time I'll see you.
Recently, there has been chaos going on in my college (KTDI-Kolej Tun Dr Ismail). A few cases involving outsider breaking into student's rooms in my college had been reported. The rumours said that the stranger had the master key which allow him/them to gain access to the student's rooms freely and that really freaks most of us out especially after an incident of which a student was made unconscious after the stranger used chloroform over her in her own room which means that the stranger was already in the room before the student came in (and that happened in the day time!). Lucky for her, the stranger did nothing nor take any valuables. The latest rumor was that there was another case happened earlier this evening in which the culprit was 'flashing' to one of the student in the girls hostel area! Seriously, is this culprit a sex maniac or what? This whole thing really affect my daily life and i really don't need this kind of stress especially at this time where the final exam is only a month away. I usually have discussions until late at night and now, with this going on, it doesn't feel safe anymore even to walk from my room to the discussion place (which was only a block distance).

Sunday, January 6, 2008

room sweet room..

fuh! after all the hardship rearranging the furnitures in my room all by myself( i'm awing at myself right now :>) and tidy up the whole mess, finally my room has a more bigger space than before. i really like the new arrangement now(inspired by hajar's room) eventhough there was a hesitation at first. Anyway, i went on with my plan and voila, a whole new housemate took a look at my room just now and quite a while after that, i heard she was moving her own furnitures..haha..well, that's good isn't it..i offered her my hands, but she refused and i will go and check out how it looks after this (wink*)..

i'm very hungry now, i was so lazy and tired to go to Wahid's cafe to buy lunch and end up eating biscuites dipped in mother called just now, told me that they went to the new shopping complex in sunway this morning. They tried doughnut and mediterranian cuisine for lunch. Lucky for me, mom told that Big Apple's was far more delicious than's. And they had to wait very long for their orders at the Mediterranean restaurant. Then i should not envy them for going there. (but i still am..huhu..). At the end of the call from mom, she was angy at me for not telling her that i was out yesterday. Not that i went anywhere far (it's only Leisure Mall plus i went there with fana, dila n nisaa), but she said if anything was to happen to me, how could she know my whereabout? well, she obviously had her points there. Her 'anggriness' had inhibited my enthusiastism of telling her how nice the movie that i watched.
The movie i watched was 'Alvin & the chipmunks' . The chipmunks were soooo cute that i laughed for most of the scenes. I didn't plan to go out at first, but since my class was canceled at the very last minute and considering dila who really want to watch movie, so i asked her if she wants to watch that movie (which i had surveyed the showing time for that evening). She agreed and it turned out that fana and nisaa wanted to joinned us. So there we were, 4 of us, rushing to the mall as the showing time was only about 20 minutes away. Once the tickets had been bought, we went to perform our asar prayers. (which was not really pleasant seeing the condition of the surau and wuduk place) and got in the cinema right on time! well, after all the hardship, i think the movie was worth it.
well. that's it for, that's quite a lot for a first timer. I need to finish my notes for my study group tonight now..adios.

get started..

okay, at last i managed to get started on writing blogs..well, it's never too late to start, right? It just that i used to love reading my friend's blogs and awe them for how they put their thoughts and feelings on words. They are not afraid of sharing what they feel unlike me who always kept my feeling to myself. So, this is my first step of improving myself towards a better person ( besides improving my english). hmm, enough of introduction, i need to go and do my chores now as this is the only time i get to do them in this week. argh!! i hate doing chores, but i hate more living in the mess..